For Halloween this year, Saoirse dressed as a flapper. Ula dressed up as a vampiress from Venice. I went as Frantic Mother. I’ve worn that costume for over a decade now. But this was the first year I actually realized I was clothed in it. It was early October when I finally started to figure […]
What kind of a friend am I?
How does friendship hold up in the face of social media and full lives? I am sitting with a group of mothers of infants and toddlers at my local co-op’s natural parenting meeting, wondering what kind of friend I am. I’ve known the group’s organizer, Meg, for several years. She asked me to come speak almost […]
Pink Elephants
Maybe we can’t control our thoughts. But we can watch and learn from them. Ula heaves her bag onto the bench next to the door, wipes a strand of wayward hair from her glasses and gives a big sigh. It is Saturday night. She and Saoirse were with friends all day, while Bob went to […]
Band Camp
I thought her struggle was about clique politics. She taught me it was about communication. “Try to steer away from Greek mythology,” Bob counsels as he and Saoirse come down the porch steps, headed for the car. I hear them from the wood pile as they pass. “Oh! I know!” I shout over a heap […]
Honoring My Inner Goddess (of destruction)
Sometimes, the route that seems the most cruel is the most direct path to kindness. I have a habit of starting most mornings before the sun. I like to move through the house in the dark, avoiding artificial light as much as possible, slipping outside to watch the stars before the sky begins to lighten, […]
Summer Camp
I sent my daughter away because I wanted to get to know her. I’m not the kind of mother who will sit still long enough to brush and style her daughters’ hair. I’ve never been a big fan of personal grooming. And my girls have never been keen on sitting still long enough to receive […]
Brain Science for Eight-Year-Olds
I couldn’t teach my kid to read. So I taught her about neuroplasticity. I prop a special slanted desk on the porch table at the farm as Ula puffs air out of her cheeks in annoyance. It is a beautiful day. She wants to spend it with the chickens. But I am there, armed with […]
Can we truly honor the earth on Earth Day?
As a radical homemaker, I want to live within the bounds of our ecosystem. But to do so, I’ve had to defy impossible odds, break the law, and quite possibly deny my children something that has been considered a fundamental entitlement in this country. This blog post is drawn from a talk I delivered in […]
A Thanksgiving For My Dark Side
This holiday I will join my family in giving thanks for loved ones, for the harvest, for our healthy food. But quietly, I will offer another prayer of gratitude: for my inner tyrant. It is 1:30 in the morning. I am wide awake. I blame Bob. His blood sugar took a plunge in the night, […]
I Thought My Children Were Eating Me Alive
…until I realized I was consumed by guilt. Ula is hiding beneath the covers. She is embarrassed. We’ve just come home from yet another eye appointment that stretched out for several hours. It ended abruptly when she accidentally broke an eyeglass display on the doctor’s desk. She didn’t mean to. She was examining […]
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