I thought I just needed to take care of the animals, like I take care of everything else. Then I learned the importance of sitting still. I am sitting in my office, the room lit only by firelight. Dusky, my Poodle-Yorkie-Mongrel, is sprawled across my lap. Ramona, my cat, mews her greeting and hops up […]
What dogs and mud taught me about working with family
When everything is at its dirtiest, showing up to face the muck and share the load are the most important steps. I take a tentative step on the woodland trail I’ve been breaking all winter. The snow is too soft today. I sink to my knees. Sighing, I call to the dogs. We abandon the […]
Murdering Santa and Other Tips for Enjoying the Holidays
The holidays can be tough for the eco-minded anti-consumers among us. That doesn’t mean they have to be miserable. Here are some suggestions for taking joy in the season, and still holding to your values. Tired of the spending? The gifting frenzy? The stress? Maybe this is the year to blend a few radical […]
Why my kid hates Santa.
The Santa myth seems harmless and fun…until it interferes with real magic. The girls and I are standing on Lisa’s doorstep. They are under strict instructions not to discuss their inside knowledge regarding the truth about Santa Claus with the other kids this afternoon. Saoirse gives me a knowing nod. At eleven, she gets […]
A Thanksgiving For My Dark Side
This holiday I will join my family in giving thanks for loved ones, for the harvest, for our healthy food. But quietly, I will offer another prayer of gratitude: for my inner tyrant. It is 1:30 in the morning. I am wide awake. I blame Bob. His blood sugar took a plunge in the night, […]
Can loners build community?
Is it possible to love solitude, and still be part of a community? As a teenager, the first time I heard the expression “There’s no I in team,” I swore off organized school sports. I told my coach and my teachers I was too busy practicing saxophone (contentedly alone, in my room), to come to […]
FIRED: Rejected by society? Or by the economy?
When my husband was fired, we thought our community didn’t want us. It turns out we were wanted more than ever. November first marked the 15th anniversary of Bob’s and my radical homemaking adventure. We didn’t plan it that way. He was fired. We had just taken out a mortgage on the home of our […]
The West Fulton Turkey Supper
I thought it was a crazy wish that my dying rural community would someday be revived. But even crazy wishes can come true. I first wrote this essay back in 2001, and I re-run it today to show the power of a simple wish. At that time, West Fulton, my hometown, was a dying […]
I Thought My Children Were Eating Me Alive
…until I realized I was consumed by guilt. Ula is hiding beneath the covers. She is embarrassed. We’ve just come home from yet another eye appointment that stretched out for several hours. It ended abruptly when she accidentally broke an eyeglass display on the doctor’s desk. She didn’t mean to. She was examining […]
Regrets: When your past stays with you
One girl’s bad choice could follow her for life. Maybe it should. By Shannon Hayes I was meeting with the school psychologist over Ula’s vision therapy program last week when a wail came from down the hallway. It grew progressively louder and more despondent as it came closer. Occasionally the words “I WANT MY MOMMY!” could […]
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