I learned a lot this summer. I learned to put customer numbers on guest checks to keep track of orders. I learned to use guest checks. I learned that a farm can grow the commons as well as it can grow meat and vegetables. I learned that it helps to clean up and set tables when guests leave, rather than when they arrive. I learned that 15 minutes invested in teaching my child or an employee a new skill, rather than doing everything myself (“because it will just be faster,”) typically generates a 200 percent return on investment within two weeks’ time. I learned that latte art does make coffee taste better, even if poorly executed. I’ve learned that when business is slow, I can make time instead of money, getting ahead on food prep, ordering, bookkeeping, so I have more free time later in the week. I also learned that running barefoot through a dark basement is generally a stupid idea.
My chiropractor says the toe is broken. Kate and Bob say that’s a score for the shoe-wearing club. I’ll allow that it’s a score for the turning-on-lights club.
Either way, it friggen hurts. Especially when Ula has a tendency to step on it at least four times each day. She’s learning a lot about spatial awareness each time I scream in pain.
And its funny how one silly little broken toe can throw off the whole body. My tendency to favor the foot leads me to bump into more things. As I bump into things, I accumulate injuries farther up my body, which seems to lead to further clumsiness until I’m dropping things, smashing my fingers, bending my wrists in awkward directions.
Last Wednesday, after clearing the lunch dishes and managing to close my hand in the cupboard door, I look at Saoirse. “I think it’s time to just quit.”
She gives me a sage nod. “I think that’s an excellent idea. You’re too dangerous.”
Ula looks up from the picture she’s drawing and gazes at the autumn-blue sky out the window. “Can I go to the farm this afternoon?”
It’s a common question. And my knee-jerk reaction is to tell her no, unless you can get someone else to drive you. I’ve got too much to do. But I catch the words before they leave my mouth. How do they manage to come out so reflexively? I just said I needed to quit for the afternoon. Why can’t I drive my kid to the farm?
I pause and consider. I don’t want to drive her to the farm because I want to quit for the afternoon. I don’t want to be told that I need to check on an order, make a phone call, set up a meeting, work on the payroll, fix a computer problem, order supplies. I don’t want to visit my parents because I don’t want more work.
And that’s when I realize something. I see my parents all the time. We’re business partners. But I can’t remember the last time I visited them.
I imagine that when other adult children stop by their parents’ home, someone makes tea or coffee. They sit down. They spend time together talking about this and that, topics wandering from stories about work, to stories about the grandkids, to tales about good books read lately. Maybe Grandma roasts a chicken (heck. Maybe it was a chicken grown on our farm) and they have pie.
A visit to my parents’ is a business meeting. The talk is about new expenditures, sales figures, customer needs, reports about dead livestock and dying livestock, slaughter dates, meat processing dates, cutting instructions.
The good part about being in a family business is that we have lots in common to talk about. The bad part is how, when the pressure of the growing season wears the body and spirit down, the last people you want to hang out with are your business associates, because it always results in more crap dumped on the to-do list.
As I’m pondering these issues, Saoirse hangs her head over the loft railing. “Can I go, too?”
This is what they are proposing: An afternoon at the farm. A visit. It’s radical. Crazy.
Then I realize something. I really miss my mom. But can I go there, exhausted and physically beaten as I am, and find rest?
I look at the eagerness on Saoirse’s and Ula’s faces. For them, the farm is pure joy. They chase after Kate doing chores, they play with kittens, explore the pond and stream, scratch the pigs’ backs, or just hang out on the back porch. The survival of the family business rides on that joy. It’s these pleasures that fill their hearts as children, then later fuel their passion to keep it all alive and thriving for another generation. I need to bring them. And I need to visit my mom. But I also need to figure out how not to work for the afternoon.
We pile into the car and drive down. The kids scatter before I can even turn off the ignition. I walk into the house. There’s no coffee or tea waiting for me. I didn’t expect it. I get myself a glass of water, then find Mom on the porch. I don’t know how to cue her in to the fact that I can’t bear to face more business matters. Finally I find words: “I’m too dangerous to myself. I quit for today.”
She looks at me and nods at the chair next to her. “I’m ahead of you.” I sit down beside her and we both look out at the front pasture, golden in the afternoon light. We start playing with my phone. There’s no wireless reception on the farm, and we’re used to it not working. But today, we figure out we can make it text. We start buzzing Bob, who’s out in the cutting room, and Kate, out in the pastures, with text messages. Just for fun. Then we start sending them to Dad out on the tractor. We know he doesn’t know how to send or receive them, so we amuse ourselves further by making his phone ring and buzz in his pocket while he tries to figure out how to use it. Then we decide to go for a ride on the four wheeler, the aim being to drive the entire perimeter of the farm, every farthest pasture and woodlot, under the aegis that “we need to research the reception of my phone.” We’ll have fun letting everyone know of our progress by annoying them with text messages. The girls want to come. “Nope,” we tell them, “we’re doing work. We need to concentrate.” Mom climbs on the front, and I slide on behind her. We take off, leaving my children in a cloud of dust.
We stop in the old apple orchard, then we climb down to investigate the stream bed. We follow along to see how the water flow is changing and recovering from the hurricanes a few years back. We rumble through the woods, then climb the trails to the upper pastures. Up there, she turns off the machine and we sit quietly looking out across the fields and the surrounding mountain tops.
For that moment, I just drink it in. And I think back over the season of endless hours on my feet: of waiting tables, pulling lattes, selling meat. I think about the number of times Mom and I have bickered in the cafe kitchen. I ponder briefly when Dad will smoke the next side of bacon, when Bob will find more time to slice it. My mind flits for a second over the enormous expenses we’ve incurred for this new cafe and store, the hours spent sweating in front of the oven, the hours spent crunching numbers. I recall briefly the phone calls Mom isn’t mentioning that I’m supposed to make, the sausage processing dates she isn’t reminding me to schedule.
All that stuff, all that business, is for something.
It is for this moment: To see this land, secure for today, loved and tended. To have my mom with me to watch as September paints the first red leaves on the maples.
And my mind goes back to that earlier lesson: that running barefoot through a dark basement was a stupid idea. On the contrary. It was one of the best ideas I’ve had in a long time.
Thanks for following the blog through another Sap Bush Hollow summer. We will be closing the cafe after Oct 9, and Bob, the kids and I are taking time time off. I’ll be back to writing in a few weeks!
Great post! Thank you, making time is very important, I have found by making time the money follows. Keep up the great work, maybe you can try to quit early 1 or 2 days per week. It cold really heal the soul.
I think that life keeps us so busy sometimes we forget to stop and take it all in. It becomes so easy to get lost going through the motions and life has a funny way of pulling us back into where we need to be. Sometimes it takes something so little to make us snap back into things and enjoy living. Great post.
True words. We live in a society that teaches money is everything. This is such a contradiction to the truth. I understand money helps, but it also has its place and it also cannot replace most valuable things in life. Making time for the small, little, important things in life will benefit us way more than a dollar bill. I agree with you, it will be good for the soul.
As I read this post, I couldn’t help but think of one of my favorite quotes from my favorite book, Gone With The Wind. In the book Gerald O’Hara is talking to his daughter about the land and he says “Land is the only thing in the world worth working for, worth fighting for, worth dying for, because it is the only thing that lasts.” Your love of this valley comes through in everything you write and inspires people. I wish you more days like you just had….maybe you could stub your toe once a month:)
Hmmm…I’ll have to think on that one, Barbara!!!
Barbara,
That quote is truly remarkable and I can see how you relate it to Shannon’s article. I have never read Gone With The Wind nor have I seen the entire movie, however, I have family who still raise cattle and have fought to keep their land. Where my family is from, Marksville, LA, when you buy land you can also buy the levee. This means that you can own the levee and only own the property on one side of the levee. My family has been through constant legal battles with property owners on the other side of the levee because they are demanding a right of way and want the right of way to cut through the land the cattle grazes on. The land is worth fighting for and dying for because it is the only thing that gets passed down from generation to generation.
When we don’t take care of ourselves, the Universe often needs to step in. The wisdom and self-understanding in this post marks you as someone who revels in living the Examined Life — and the more we look at what is happening in our lives and say “Okay, how does this move me forward…no matter what it looks like?” the less the Universe has to hit up upside the head (or in the foot) with a Clue Brick.
I have so loved my visits to the Cafe this year. Thank you for all the love and effort you and You (capital Y being the family) have put into it. I’m on the road again this weekend so I’ll miss the Final Hurrah for 2016, but will look forward to the next year.
Yes the universe does have a certain way of making us stop to learn and enjoy life more.
I agree with you 100% on this. The universe has such an odd crazy way of letting us know when we need to just stop and enjoy the time with the people around us in life and the things around us. Life works in mysterious ways.
This is a good thing that the universe can tell us when we need to slow down and soak it all in.
You need to VISIT Mom more often. And the thought of texting for nuisance sounds like LOTS of fun!
It is sad that sometimes it takes an injury for s to slow down and realize that it is not about the quantity of time we spend with someone it is about the quality of time we spend with them.
Definitely visit Mom more. You never know when that one visit could be the last visit. Enjoy each visit!
I thought the same thing about the texting. What great wonderful memories to make with your mom. Didn’t cost a thing but will last a life time. These kinds of days we spend with our loved ones can never be replaced. Also find it interesting that some would look at this as a bad business decision but in reality taking the time off and focusing on important issues is probably on of the smartest business decisions a person could make.
Dear Shannon,
Tuesday with Shannon is one of the few blog posts I look forward to weekly!!
I’ll miss your stories while you’re enjoying the much needed down time.
Make sure to wish upon that desert shooting star when you see it !!
KC
How wonderful, I can only imagine.
I believe that no idea is stupid. I read about a family that is bond together working to be successful. Shannon you made a statement that stood out for me, “teaching your child or an employee a new skill rather than doing it yourself generated even more production.” Most times in life we rather do the job ourselves than take a little time to teach someone else. Once someone else is capable of doing the job the teacher can work on another task, production is steady flowing. Also, I like the idea of getting ahead when business is slow, therefore being prepared for days ahead. It seems like you and your family have busy lives, but I can sense the love you all share.
I can relate on wanting to do everything myself because it’ll be faster, but you are right, teaching my child to do that task will allow me to move on to another task. This will also lessen the time I’m “busy” and help free up some time for us to play or just be together without me getting behind.
Sometimes we need those minor body injuries to make us slow down from work, school, more importantly life, so that we can enjoy our surroundings and the things we work so hard for and work hard to keep up with. Some of the things that was meant for harm turn out to be good in the end. When you get back to working, things seem to go smoother and you enjoy the work, for a moment, then you think about stubbing your toe again
Rockell, I agree that we need to take the time to enjoy the things we work hard for. If we aren’t going to enjoy them, who will? Life moves at such a fast pace and we all need that reminder to slow down a little bit and enjoy the moment.
Rockell, I agree that we need to take the time to enjoy the things that we work hard for. If we aren’t going to enjoy them, who will? Life moves at such a fast pace and we all need that reminder to slow down a little bit and enjoy the moment.
Rockell, I could not agree more. It is sad that we get so caught up in everyday life that we don’t stop to enjoy the simple things or the people we see everyday. Most of run around day to day on autopilot without stopping.
It seems like you love your life. and I feel that no idea is stupid.
Shannon you stated that teaching your child or an employee a new skill rather than doing it yourself generated even more income. Great idea, lots of times we rather do it ourselves than take a little time to teach someone else the job. Why loose out when the teacher can be working on another task. Also,I agree that it is better to get ahead on slow days by preparing for later days.Like you said, no sense in wasting time. I appears that you and your family lead busy lives, but I can sense the love.
I agree with your post as well as what Shannon said in the article because I’m a worker just like that. I feel like on slow days as well as steady ones there should be some set time to try and get ahead. Also, when working with others you’ll learn really quick that team work will have a better outcome than doing a project alone. Overall, Shelia I agree with everything you said within your post to Shannon.
I am so glad someone said it! It is not a stupid idea to love life. The fact that she embraced this was genius in my mind. It can be such an eye opener for others. Which, most of us agree. She is spot on in talking about this subject matter. I also can sense the love she is putting forth in the blog with her family. Very heartwarming and we can see she cares.
Well done, in regards to finding time for reflection. It is not easy when one fills their life to the brim with meaningful projects.
The cafe is a new shining light on my weekly existence, and for that I am grateful.
There are few things I enjoy reading in life as much as I enjoy your writing. Thank you for taking the time to put your thoughts into words and share them.
Wow great time, a season for all times and a time for all seasons, or better yet just a great time no matter what. Have a super holiday as they say and absorb all the blessings that come your way, the journey you make is the journey you share, hope its good and as long as you need. Even a broken toe can be a good idea- Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Best to all and enjoy your purpose, but relaxing of course for now!
Get some sleep “Pepper”! You’ve made life just a little bit sweeter for all of us.
Great Post! I liked the way you introduced your article. I have always been one of those people that sees things as time is money. I like to get ahead of the crowd and customers myself by prepping for the rest of the day while things are slow etc. I like the way you also stated that team work in the key to getting things done faster because it actually does. Continue with your positivity and positive ideas!
I really enjoyed your post. It is so easy to get swept up in life’s hectic schedule, even more so when you have a business. Everyone needs to take a break from work to enjoy the simple things in life. Our parents grow older and our kid’s grow in the blink of an eye, being able to make memories with them is something so special.
This article really hit home for me. I can appreciate the need to take time for oneself and step away and enjoy your family as a family not as a business unit. I can also appreciate the passing of the torch and teaching someone else to do the task for you. My grandparents had a working farm when I was growing up. There was never enough daylight in the hours of the day to finish everything that needed to be done. I clearly remember feeding the cattle, slopping the hogs, picking up the eggs, baling hay, and so many more mundane things that I though were chores. I was taught very early on not to put anything off until tomorrow because you never know what unexpected surprises tomorrow holds. I wish I still lived by that motto. Thankfully, my grandmother is still alive. She is 98 and I still visit her often. The farm is no longer a working farm and the neighbor keeps her land up for her because she allows him to use the grass to make hay bales. I used to get so excited to go visit her when I was younger but the excitement wore off quickly because of the amount of work that always needed to be done. Now that I am older I can truly say that the her house and her land is the only place I truly feel at peace and at one with nature and the world in general. I am truly thankful that she is still with me and that our relationship has evolved into just spending time and reminiscing on the old days. Unlike Shannon, we never had a restaurant and I did not break any bones, I just grew up and moved away and sometimes this makes you appreciate the simplicity of things. My grandmother wanted me to be hands on when I was younger because she wanted me to appreciate and possibly carry on the only way of life she knew. Hindsight is 20/20 and I truly wish I would have never left the simplicity of the farm and moved to the city.
This is truly a wonderful article that brought back many memories of summers spent on my grandmother’s working farm. She instilled some of the same values that you mentioned in the article. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today because tomorrow is full of unexpected surprises. If you show someone you trust them enough to teach them how to do something correctly this usually makes them feel more valued and thus they take pride in doing it. My grandmother is still alive. She is 98 and our visits these days consist of remembering the old times. I am one of the only people I know who can bale hay and milk cows. These were skills that my grandmother thought were important because as I learned later, they taught me discipline and made me responsible for something. Her house and land is truly the only place where I feel at peace and completely connected with nature and the world in general. It is sad that sometimes injuries or advancing age to realize the quiet, slower moments count and that we should not take anything or anyone for granted.
This article brings back many memories from my childhood and reminded me of some important lessons that I had learned previously and need to relearn now. My grandmother had a working farm when I was growing up. She taught me from a young age that nothing compares to hard days work. She also taught me to never put off what needs to be done today because you never know what unexpected surprises tomorrow will bring. I learned that you need to nurture the relationships you have with your family and there is a place to discuss work and it is not the dinner table. It is unfortunate that in todays world, sometimes it takes an injury to make us slow down and think about how much quality time we spend with our loved ones not the quantity of time.
Thank you for a great post. Life is always going in a million different directions and I just need to stop and take breath. Enjoy each visit with parents and enjoy every smile my daughters give me.
I find that in life we get so busy and caught up in certain situations that become the “norm” for us until we are completely exhausted, worn out, and left wondering where we went wrong, and how can we fix it. I have once been in your situation and it took a body injury/sickness and my doctor telling me to take it easy before I stepped back and thought maybe he is right. My body is obviously trying to tell me to slow down and rest and enjoy life. We often become irritated in these situations, but they are often blessings in disguise. I love that you mentioned in your blog how you spent time with your parents, but you don’t remember the last time you “visited” with them. That was such an eye opener for me.
This post reminded me how important it is to “sweat the small stuff”! It’s the little things in life that really do matter. Its so easy to get caught up in all that is going on and forget our children are only with us for a short while. Whoever would have thought a broken toe could bring so much happiness! Sometimes you do need to know when to quit, but the most important thing would be to know why you are quitting. Great post, I was reading this for an assignment but I really did enjoy it.