We bring our dog to the vet twice in the week before we leave.  First he’s limping (normal with the ice and snow), then he’s puking (also normal with his penchant for jumping into the compost and snacking).  But we want to make sure everything is fine.

I make lists: packing lists, food lists, to-do lists, password lists.

I become consciously aware, as the countdown to the flight begins, that I am trying to control as much as I can until the moment arrives when I’ve surrendered control.

When I get up and go to work at 3, that is under my control.  What I do for a living is under my control.  Even Bob’s driving, with enough screaming and shouting from my position in the passenger seat, is under my control (or so I like to believe).

Airplanes and TSA are NOT within my control.

Foreign foods are not within my control.

Whether or not the skies will clear enough for us to see the northern lights is not within my control.

I tell myself that, if anything, two years in a pandemic has trained me to relinquish control.

And in those two years, while I saw all that was beyond my control, I did become keenly aware of my ability to make choices.

I could stand and cry, or I could choose to adapt.  I could shout in frustration, or be curious about my new circumstances.

And last week, I chose to commit to 24 hours straight in a mask to board three different flights and journey to the arctic circle in pursuit of a lifelong dream to see the northern lights.

I’ve chosen to pursue lots of dreams: to write a best seller, to have a profitable farm, to run a community cafe.  I’ve succeeded at some, failed at others.  But, I remind myself as I try to make a bed in my airplane seat, it wasn’t the dream I was after.  It was the adventure of the journey toward it.

And eventually we make it to the great white north of Norway.  And we travel another hour by bus, then meet my brother and sister-in-law in the dark of night.  But as we climb down, we are met immediately with an incredible reward.

The northern lights have come out.  They glow for hours.  We are there for six nights, and for three of them, they dance above us.

But on one night, when the lights aren’t shining, Saoirse climbs into bed with me.  She has been following the situation in the Ukraine.  She’s distressed.

And I am aware of the fear and outrage the citizens of that country, and the world,  are experiencing.  I do my best to comfort my kid, but everything I say rings hollow.

And the next morning the attacks begin.

And we read about the pluck and bravery of the citizens, and the tragedies that are unfolding as we are in the midst of a once-in-a-lifetime experience here in the arctic circle.

On the morning of my birthday, we sit as a family and cry for those who are suffering.

But I don’t want to be ungrateful for this gift we have received — from my brother and sister-in-law, from the universe.   I’m reminded once more about choice and control.   I don’t have control about what happens, but we have choices.

And we choose to send up our prayers, the kids choose to look for ways we can send help, and we choose to be grateful for the amazing experience we have been afforded.

And then we gaze up at the skies above us, and surrender to wonder.

 

A number of you have written to ask that I share pics.  So here are a few highlight from the trip:

Dog Sledding (and crashing)

Saoirse was riding, I was driving (or at least pretending to).  This is another example highlighting my lack of control…And our choice to laugh about it.

 

Sunrise over the fjord outside our window:

Another shot of the lights:

Bob as a troll (Troll museum in Tromso).  The look suited him:

 

Troll family portrait:

And finally, one last example of control vs choice.  There’s a lot of down time when your vacation is in the north, the avalanches are too severe for much outdoor exploration, there’s no tv, and the principle activity is waiting for the skies to clear.  So the younguns were confronted with some boredom, especially when Mom and Dad limited ipad screen time.  Bob and I wanted to teach our niece what good can come from boredom.  Her ipad had been taken away.  But fun could still be had.  We had cheese wax and Bob’s phone at our disposal.

BALL KICKS BACK

(Producer: Bob Hooper   Director: Saoirse Hayes Hooper   Writer: Shannon Hayes   Animator: Evelyn Lavigne)